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Gary's Place
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Gary's Place

  #121 (permalink)
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GaryD View Post

... Fear has left the building.

Very important. Very very important.

The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life. ~Eckhart Tolle

Fear stops us from living the life of our dreams. It stopped me.

Only after the constant practice of mindfulness have I come to face to face with the fear within me.

And it happens ONLY when Im comparing myself to others.

Fear allows us to create STORIES in our otherwise crystal clear heads.

Fear -> Self-pity -> hatred -> Fear

is the full circle.

Fear is what used to prevent me from taking responsibility.

Fear leaves the building ONLY when the storyline has moved on (but is still stored inside your mind)
OR when the fear tugging your mind has become diluted (how?)
OR when the mind is aware that IT is in control (permanent solution - taking back control!)


And believe me it is a PROCESS... the more you practice the better you get at everything.

Trading is merely improving yourself each day, in fact it is the ONLY thing that trading really is.

Without that the self-destruction-jounrey continues and I come to the markets to play a preset game called "I lose".

Thanks for triggering this internal dialogue.

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Fear is not conducive to the mindset required. A trader should not fear loss, they should accept that it will happen and not have it change their emotional state. You just close the trade, and move on.

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Winding up the final week of my first full time month, cruising so far. Very good month, particularly considering the starting equity. I started to realize I was really "there" sometime this week, and the related celebratory drinking is starting to wear on me some. I may feel like it some days, but I am not 25 anymore.

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one more down Net +50.


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I posted this before, but not here. Just shared with someone today on a skype call.

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One more after the call was over

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UPDATE


Last edited by GaryD; August 28th, 2013 at 04:26 PM. Reason: CORRECTION
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Another glimpse into the past. Trying to accent some things I said today.





GaryD View Post
Over and over again I spend hours and days marking my charts, then erase a few days later and start over. As the maket moves forward it leaves new points of interest behind. The higher the timeframe analysis, the longer the markings have significance. Those attempts at analysis may last for weeks or months. Shorter timeframe chart markings, like 30 minute, can lose their meaning in a day's time. It's like building sand castles too close to the surf, having them washed away by the rising tide. The tide goes back out, and I start building again.

I don't know why, but I enjoy the whole process. Typing this, it doesn't sound like any fun. But it's almost like an artist with a new canvas, and I get lost in the process until the next painting is completed.......

I'll start with a single line somewhere, and soon there are lines everywhere. Then I will increase the time range and do it again, then decrease the time range and do it again. Lines everywhere. Then, I zoom back out and start to remove them again, making tough decisions about which really have to go, which have the most strength. And it's really somewhat of a guessing game that improves over time.......


........ the studies I have done that show that the risk to reward ratio by itself could in fact be the holy grail. Maybe that is my obsession. Maybe I imagine that if I just set the stop and the profit target and let whatever happens, happen, that I would be in a more peaceful state. Zen. My trading the past few days has been the opposite of peaceful, but maybe in some ways still "Zen".

One definition of zen teaching says, "contemplation of one's essential nature to the exclusion of all else..." I was certainly feeling every pulse of the market to the point where nothing else existed at that moment. Isn't that being "one with the market"?

I studied meditation for several years, and the goal back then was to clear the mind of everything. There was a saying, you can't stop the birds from flying over your head, but you can stop them from resting in your hair. Let the thoughts flow through but don't hold onto them.

In one method, I used to sit in a dark room with a candle and stare at the flicker of light until all else faded to black. Nothing but the candle existed at that moment. Replacing the candle with computer monitors, and the flicker with price action, couldn't that be a type of meditation?

........Maybe the whole chart drawing thing is just another form as well. I start with nothing but a black screen and a white flickering price pattern, and study it until nothing else exists. I draw until I can't draw anymore, and it becomes complex. Then contemplate, and finally go back to remove the noise until it becomes simple again......


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iqgod View Post
And it happens ONLY when I’m comparing myself to others.

Who else has money in your account?





iqgod View Post
Fear -> Self-pity -> hatred -> Fear is the full circle.

That does not sound complete.





iqgod View Post
Without that the self-destruction-journey continues and I come to the markets to play a preset game called "I lose".

Play something new. Anything, but be sure it feels like play. Much better place to live.

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