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OK, get ready for the mandatory stupid Easter posting that you know you’ve been anticipating….
A man is driving along a highway and
sees a rabbit jump out across the
middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it,
but unfortunately the rabbit jumps
right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as
well as an animal lover, pulls
over and gets out to see what
has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD.
The driver feels so awful
that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman
driving down the highway
sees a man crying on the side of
the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and
asks the man what’s wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explains,
"I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny
with my car and KILLED HIM."
The blonde says,"Don't worry."
She runs to her car
and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead
Easter Bunny, bends down,
and sprays the contents onto him.
The Easter Bunny jumps up,
waves its paw at the two of them
and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away he stops,
turns around and waves again,
he hops down the road another
10 feet, turns and waves,
hops another ten feet,
turns and waves,
and repeats this again and
again and again and again,
until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished.
He runs over to the woman
and demands,
"What is in that can?
What did you spray on the
Easter Bunny?"
The woman turns the can
around so that the man
can read the label.
It says...
(Are you ready for this?)
(Are you sure?)
(You know you're
gonna be sorry)
(Last chance)
(OK, here it is)
It says,
"Hair Spray”
Restores life to dead hair,
and adds permanent wave."
Happy Easter!!!
After all, it's what you learn AFTER you know it all, that counts!
Economics is a science that combines hard mathematics and human behavior. The first part is easy to explain, the second is not. Human behavior unfortunately is not uniform and neither predictable. Therefore different societies field different responses to economics theory or apply its lessons in a different fashion. here are the major differences among nations and cultures.
A Cow based Economics Lesson:
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive
