The Miracle of Toilet Paper: Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of
the mirror complaining
to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so,

he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion."If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between
them for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front
of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

"How long will this take?"
I ask.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.

I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between
my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy he may even walk
again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.