Ramblings from the great Steven Wright - futures io
futures io futures trading



Ramblings from the great Steven Wright


Discussion in Jokes

Updated
    1. trending_up 88 views
    2. thumb_up 3 thanks given
    3. group 1 followers
    1. forum 1 posts
    2. attach_file 0 attachments




Welcome to futures io: the largest futures trading community on the planet, with well over 125,000 members
  • Genuine reviews from real traders, not fake reviews from stealth vendors
  • Quality education from leading professional traders
  • We are a friendly, helpful, and positive community
  • We do not tolerate rude behavior, trolling, or vendors advertising in posts
  • We are here to help, just let us know what you need
You'll need to register in order to view the content of the threads and start contributing to our community.  It's free and simple.

-- Big Mike, Site Administrator

(If you already have an account, login at the top of the page)

 
Search this Thread
 

Ramblings from the great Steven Wright

(login for full post details)
  #1 (permalink)
Aurora, Il USA
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: TradeStation
Trading: futures
 
kbit's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,902 since Nov 2010
Thanks: 3,294 given, 3,357 received

Ramblings from the great Steven WrightThis is the work of Steven Wright, “the famous erudite scientist
who once said: 'I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been

stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.'” His mind sees things

differently than most of us do



Here are some of his gems:




1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.



2 - Borrow money from pessimists – they don't expect it back.



3 - Half the people you know are below average.



4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.



5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.



6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.



7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.



8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.



9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.




10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.



11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... but she left me before we met.



12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?



13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?



14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.



15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.



16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.



17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.



18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.



19 - I intend to live forever.... so far, so good.



20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends.



21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.



22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?



23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."



24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?



25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.



26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.



27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.



28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.



29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.



30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.



31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.



32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.



33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.



34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.



And the all time favorite:



35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following 3 users say Thank You to kbit for this post:

Can you help answer these questions
from other members on futures io?
Which kind of Blockvolume is visible? - order processing
Emini and Emicro Index
What blockvolume is visible? - order processing
NinjaTrader
Second Entry Indicator (Looking for testers/feedback)
NinjaTrader
SimplerOptions
Trading Reviews and Vendors
MACD line not plotting after change of plot order
NinjaTrader
 
Best Threads (Most Thanked)
in the last 7 days on futures io
Selling Options on Futures?
109 thanks
Battlestations: Show us your trading desks!
108 thanks
Rank your Futures vs Stocks trading priority
55 thanks
Want your NinjaTrader indicator created, free?
27 thanks
Whats this confusion with margins?
21 thanks
 
(login for full post details)
  #2 (permalink)
San Diego, CA USA
 
Experience: Intermediate
Platform: NinjaTrader
Trading: ES
 
GridKing's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,650 since May 2011
Thanks: 584 given, 881 received

Went to see him years ago in Vegas, funny guy

"Successful trading is one long journey, not a destination" Peter Borish Former Head of Research for Paul Tudor Jones speaking on conversations with John F. Carter
Visit my futures io Trade Journal Reply With Quote


futures io Trading Community Off-Topic Jokes > Ramblings from the great Steven Wright


Last Updated on January 26, 2012


Upcoming Webinars and Events
 

NinjaTrader Indicator Challenge!

Ongoing
 

Battlestations! Show us your trading desk - $1,500 in prizes!

March
 

Importance of Finding Your Own Way w/Adam Grimes

Elite only
 

Journal Challenge w/Jigsaw

April
     



Copyright © 2021 by futures io, s.a., Av Ricardo J. Alfaro, Century Tower, Panama, +507 833-9432, info@futures.io
All information is for educational use only and is not investment advice.
There is a substantial risk of loss in trading commodity futures, stocks, options and foreign exchange products. Past performance is not indicative of future results.
no new posts