This

Recession has hit everybody really hard...


My

neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are

having sex with their husbands because they can't afford

batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil

laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience

showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon

with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked

"Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or

them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie

adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their

nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an

exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed

her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into

Mexico .

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and

Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The

Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali

pirates.

And, finally....

I was so depressed last night

thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security,

retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre

in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited,

and asked if I could drive a

truck