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Announcing the new BMT Big Trader platform and brokerage!
Started: by Big Mike Views / Replies:10,756 / 104
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Announcing the new BMT Big Trader platform and brokerage!

  #41 (permalink)
Membership Revoked
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Private Banker View Post
April Fools?


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  #42 (permalink)
Elite Member
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I never thought it would come to this!


Big Mike View Post

When asked . . . Big Mike responded: "The new 'Big Trader' brokerage services are so good, the firm will guarantee all traders using our brokerage will be profitable.

We asked Big Mike to comment, and he had this to say: "Our fills are actually better than Goldman's. That's how big our servers are. And that's just huge."

Mike

Somehow this sounds, or should be illegal . . . don't you think? . . .I'm skeptical!


Big Mike View Post

Big Mike has also said that all members of the Big Mike Trading community will be given a free lifetime license to 'Big Trader', the brand new release of their flagship product which will be debuting shortly. Additionally, all members of the Big Mike Trading community will be given exclusive Level 69 commission rates of $0.001 cent per RT through the new 'Big Trader' brokerage, for any member trading more than 377 round turns per second.

Mike


Ok, you sold me . . . (futures.io (formerly BMT)) Membership has it's privileges . . . I may actually be able to retire!

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  #43 (permalink)
Market Wizard
Portland Oregon, United States
 
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Extra Terrestrial Exchange Support


Will the platform support trading of instruments on other planets?

The Planet Mongo Stock Exchange is in a big bubble now.

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  #44 (permalink)
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You just want us to send you our money so you can mysteriously lose it in a bank in the Cayman islands. Ha Ha

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  #45 (permalink)
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This is the line that gave it away for me.. "the firm will guarantee all traders using our brokerage will be profitable. "
Great joke Mike, it had me going there for a while..
(April Fools isn't until Sunday)

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  #46 (permalink)
Curtis
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"It was later reported that Goldman is currently in talks to switch all trade desk and execution services over to the new 'Big Trader' platforms as soon as possible. We tried to reach Goldman for comment, but they called us a Muppet and hung up."


Nothing so Impressive as Simplicity
D.G. Watts
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  #47 (permalink)
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Very good Mike....
What would be minimum account size...10,000,000 ?

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  #48 (permalink)
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Did you hear? - Big Trader's first Big Patent!!

I think in the heat of the big moment Big Mike just forgot to mention that the Big Trader Platform has incorporated the the Patent Pending technology called No-Click Trading.

What this revolutionary technology means that traders now NEED NOT CLICK to initiate or close trades. All a trader has to do is think of the amount of profits (s)he needs for that week and trades will be automatically initiated / closed in appropriate sizes with No-Click buys / sells. Since the trader has not clicked, note that (s)he is not obligated to pay any brokerage on the same.

The implications of this advance are truly far-reaching and most brokerages are seeing dwindling volumes after most of the trading population has now opened a Big Trader account with this new fantafabolous technology.

Profits are now a way of life.

However note that traders need to purchase the optional addon Quasi-Fuzzy NeuroPositronic Brain Synch subscription service (see the Risk Free two-week trial offer below).

Note: Clients opening accounts on or before 1st April 2012 are restricted from thinking about INFINITY as a profit-target. This restriction will be in place due to a bug discovered in the final pre-release testing of Big Trader where INFINITY profit-targets lead to overheating of all 64 cores due to super high frequency trading activity of 3770000000 round turns per microsecond. Think INFINITY at your own equipment's risk.

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  #49 (permalink)
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kbit View Post
Very good Mike....
What would be minimum account size...10,000,000 ?

Yes, we can accept that to start you in our Micro account size. Then when you are ready, you can fund a real account.

Mike

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  #50 (permalink)
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I'm curious to know where is the picture of the platform from? Its really cool looking

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