I withdrew for a while, now I am back and I am starting a fresh journal. My last journal ends with me seeing a dead end. After that I was lost a bit, but I found new energy and enthusiasm.
First let me state this. You cannot learn how to play musical instrument by listening to music. You cannot learn driving by looking at car races in TV. You cannot learn a martial art by watching the movies.
Can you be the writer without reading any book in life? You cant. Can you be a photographer without studying pictures of others? I doubt so. Can you be a black belt without watching others fight? You cant. Watching more experienced people play sports, paint pictures, dance or whatever is your passion is necessary and helpful, but it is not enough.
Watching trading webinars, chatting around forums and reading trading books is helpful, but eventually you need to start seriously doing it. You need to stop fooling around, work your butt off, give it all you got and find your own style according to your personality. One have to train every day, put as many hours in as needed, constantly looking to improve himself and his method. Videos and chat is not going to cut it. It is a way to hide from painful reality of markets.
This path can be walked only with absolute truth and honesty towards myself. With accepting my own as I am with all my strengths and weaknesses. I will do mistakes. Markets are random. Only thing I have under my control are my own actions. Regrets are to be accepted.
This time I will trade my plan only and I will not start until I have it done. It might take a few days more until I put it together. Party back-tested and partly discretionary. When its ready I will start posting trades.
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The Good, the Bad and the Random.
Trade can be good, executed well according to plan and risk management.
Trade can be bad, like opening and closing positions in panic, violating risk allowance per trade or daily loss limit.
Trace can be random and in that case nothing really matters.
When you backtest simple Moving Average strategy you get 50:50 results, nett profit is 0. If you find really really bad strategy, you can turn it to really really good by doing the opposite. I was obvious pretty soon that "really bad" strategy is random one.
When I enter trade I want to speculate about certain market activity, but there is no guarantee that what will happen is what I expect and that it will happen in magnitude I expect. Proper backtest and walk-forward statistic is key in my opinion.
But worst of all is when i start trading randomly on my own. When I violate my plan and with "this time it will work!" I just put trades and random volume clusters. This will never work. Markets are random enough even without my gambling.
But I am just a human being, it will happen time to time and only training and knowing myself will hopefully help me deal with it.