Jeez man, I just can't even imagine... thank you for sharing, and I'm really glad to see that you have been able to persevere. A true testament to the double edged nature of this business.

So many think about success in the markets as a destination, but I think one of the prerequisites is the knowledge that learning to trade is an ever-evolving process. Obviously some things had to change in order for you to continue. I'd be very interested to hear about your path from there to where you are currently; what you discovered along the way, the struggles you've had, and how you went about implementing the changes effectively to overcome them.

Too bad the show didn't fly, I'm old school too and still love to fire up some VH... although the Doors' "Break On Through" comes to mind here lol. I've always enjoyed picking the brains of people who are making things happen in their lives so apologies in advance.. you're a natural target

These kinda things have happened to me as well thanks for sharing maybe one day I will have the courage to do the same


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After the debacle in Vegas, I regrouped and deposited another substantial sum with MB Trading. Looking back at this period, I really didn't have a reliable system nor any real understanding of market conditions. Plus, when things got volatile in pairs like the Pound/Yen (one of my favorites because of the strong moves) suddenly the spread would widen..sometimes by an additional 10 or 15 pips. This meant when I saw my momentum scalp setups appearing and I entered a trade, I would sometimes be down as much as 15 pips at entry. Pretty hard to scalp like that. I would have a few good weeks and then foolishly think I was ready to trade more lots.

What I failed to realize is that I had basically no impulse control whatsoever. I never had known this about myself until I started trading real money. I would take two or three losses in a row and then just go Full Tilt. Taking trades..instantly losing, then immediately going in the opposite direction. It was a manic frenzy. Then, to try and recoup losses,, I would double up my lot size and often lose even more. I could start at 1 lot...go to two and end up trading 10 lots in the same session. It was insane!

It's sort of embarrassing to admit that I behaved like this, but it's the truth. I didn't really know how to trade and I had no idea that I had these behavioral issues when it came to trading. I literally pissed away hard earned money at a ridiculous pace.

Here is another excerpt from a 2008 Trading journal. There are many entries almost identical to this one. It shows a tormented person...in way over their head.. but not smart enough to realize it, yet.

I hate to use the cliche "My Journey"..but I'm not sure what else to call it. I am writing this to give some perspective of what it's been like for me over the past ten years or so. I guess this could also be a cautionary tale.
If someone asked me, even last year, what the biggest mistake I ever made in my life was, I would have to say, "Getting into trading." Having been pretty decent at most jobs or vocations I had, there was nothing that I could imagine doing for five years straight and be a total failure at. Yet, that's what my trading had been..A Failure..an Epic Disaster. So how did I get into this whole quagmire of torment ?
I had been selling Real Estate for several years and had recently enrolled in a local Film School. I went on to make some short films that were in Film festivals and I really enjoyed the creative process. While there, a fellow student convinced me to attend a seminar for a trading software called Forex Made Easy...Ok.. everybody stop laughing now!
I first was exposed to trading/investing when I was a kid, because my father had his own investment business. In our house in Palm beach, he had an office in the 1970's that had the early Trade quote computers. It seemed like I could tell when he was doing poorly because his moods would sour. Later on, through trusting a Bernie Madoff like partner, he lost a tremendous amount of money. So for me, I associated the markets with being an endeavor I wanted no part of.
Yet, there I was, after a 3 hour seminar, shelling out almost $4000.00 for this silly Wizetrade Red light/Green light software. Why? Well, of course the presenter was good at his job and it gave me a dream. Instead of selling Real Estate, I would trade my Forex Made Easy software for two hours a day. I would then spend the rest of my day writing my film scripts and make movies. Did I really investigate what trading was all about? Did I understand the statistics of failure amongst traders? No. I had never failed at anything I put my mind to. I would use the same principles of discipline and hard work that I always did and surely I would succeed at this too? Right?
I had no idea what I was getting into.
End of Part 1

Please let me know if you want me to continue with this little story. Thanks

Yes, please continue.... I think most of us have had ups and downs, euphoria and depression....Thanks for putting it out there. I enjoy reading your posts and watching your videos...

Bob

Just wanted to also say be proud of what you have become and know u are an inspiration to many many others including me especially if your past has been this way ...cheers


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