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You should assume you will only get filled if price penetrates the level.
While it is possible to get filled otherwise, it is best just to assume the other way. On some very liquid instruments like the ES, it can behave differently when it is moving slower and there are literally thousands and thousands of orders in front or behind you.
It's just called "position in queue", and it's first come first served.
Ninja SIM is pretty good in this respect - they don't give you an optimistic fill.
On live trading, I ALWAYS move my stop to break/even when I hit my target if it isn't already there. I don't mind not making money because I get to my target & it doesn't fill but I sure hate giving it back in that scenario.