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Rande Howell's Material Psychology (www.tradersstateofmind.com)

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milpitas, ca, usa
 
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jgomez74 View Post
Thank you very much Rahul for your comments, messages and the exercise of how becoming an observer. I really appreciate all that.

Yes I have already started observing my thoughts and I think I am also somehow advanced in this topic.

For instance, Iīve realized that I and most traders take very personal the trades. We tend to describe the trades like if we are the ones inside of the markets with expression like this:

Itīs going to stop me out.
I got stopped out.
The market is moving in my favor.
The market is moving against me
The market is taking off without me.

And many other similar expressions when thatīs not the true, it is the trades we execute the ones that are inside of the markets, it is not ourselves, but since we take the trades so personal we express in that way, and thatīs why we get deppresed or very angry if thinks do not turn out the way we want.

Iīve also realized that I try to control the market with my thoughts, for example, I say: Go up, go up, if I am in a long, or go down, go down, if I am in a short, and I try to command the market on what it needs to do to satisfy my desires.

If I get upset I start cursing the markets or telling it even bad words, or some other times I start begging the market to do what I want, or I even start praying. Or I have also catch myself telling the market: You are doing again this to me, you only stopped me out and reverse into the direction of the trade, why are you doing this to me?

I have also observed my Inner Critic in charge saying: This is not for you, after so long you still do not get it, when will be the time when you start trading profitable and consistently, You did the same mistake again, you are not worthy, what are you doing, why did you move your stop loss if the market was going against you and other self-reproach expressions.

I have also realized about my thoughts when the adapted voice is in charge like for example when I see an opportunity and I want to be a 100% sure the trade will work, or I start thinking "Am I sure this is the place, what if I am wrong" and thoughts about not taking the risk so that I do not experience the arousal of emotions. For example I say, "this is a good opportunity, but I rather remain on the sidelines or in my comfort zone, because I do not want to experience the emotions that bother me". Iīve experienced also worrying thoughts about all the time that has passed and feeling that I am stuck and not moving forward.

So I think I have already some miles in this topic of awareness or mindfulness. I am also very aware that those thoughts are very strong and can totally affect my mood. I am a very rational and anatlytical person, so I like things to be precise and to work the way they should work. I know thatīs not the way the market behaves, because this is a probabilities game, so I got frustrated when things do not turn out, the way they supposed to be. So I need to start thinking with a probability mindset and with a managing risk mindset, just as I do when I trading on SIM, because thereīs no money at risk.

But still when I am aware of those thoughs and beliefs, I keep producing the same thoughs, beleifs and behaviors, because I havenīt developed the way to change those beliefs so that I start producing new thoughts and therefore new emotions. And as I say before, I think thatīs the only part, which is the last of the process, that I think I am still missing.


Jorge

Jorge,
your situation is almost the same as mine. I considered myself mindful with the ZEN experience I had but my journals where filled with the same self talk and thoughts. Yes, you are observing the thoughts but you haven't identified the underlying belief that triggers the thought. This is not easy as most of these beliefs are so automatic, they are hidden from awareness. With years of conditioning they produce the same repetitive response.

This is one thing I have observed with my meditation practices from the past. They help you with emotional regulation and expand your band of tolerance BUT they do not fix the real issues with underlying beliefs.

Working with a professional is the best way to identify and work with the belief system.
I am not qualified to advice you on this as this will do more harm than good . From what I can see and from my personal experience, I went thru the same vicious cycle. I was using the psychology and self talk journal from Brett S and observed the pattern over few months without any progress.

Sorry, I was not much help to your real problem but atleast I can see that we are taking the same journey.
Regards
Rahul

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